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OLIVIA HUNTER HELD IT TOGETHER until Midlife had been able to extricate her from Detective Lance Banner. Now that she was back in her own home she let her defenses down. She cried silently. Tears ran down her cheeks. Olivia could not stop them. She did not know if they came from joy, relief, fear, what. She only knew that sitting down and trying to stop them would be a waste of time.She had to move.Her suitcase was still at the Howard Johnsons. She simply packed another. She knew better than to wait. The police would be back. They would want answers.She had to get to Reno right now.She couldnt stop crying, which was unlike her yet understandable, she guessed, under the circumstances. Olivia was physically and emotionally spent. She was pregnant, for one thing. For another, she was worried about her adopted daughter. And finally, after all this time, she had told Matt the truth about her past.The pact was over. Olivia had broken it when she responded to that online post- more than that, she had been directly responsible for the death of Emma Lemay. It was Olivias fault. Emma had done a lot wrong in her life. She had hurt many people. Olivia knew that shed tried to make up for it, that shed truly spent her last years making amends. She customized nfl jerseys from china didnt know where that put Emma on the Great Ledger in the Sky, but if anyone earned redemption, she assumed that Emma Lemay had.But the thing Olivia could not get over, the thing that was really making the tears waterfall down her cheeks, was the look on Matts face when she told him the truth.It had not been what shed imagined at all.He should have been upset. He probably was. How could he not be? From the first time they met in Vegas, Olivia had always loved the way he looked at her- as if God had never created anything more spectacular, more- for lack of a better word- pure. Olivia naturally expected that look to vanish or at least dim once he learned the truth. She figured that his faded-blue eyes would harden, grow cold.But that hadnt happened.Nothing had changed. Matt had learned that his wife was a lie, that she had done things that would make most men turn away forever in disgust. And he had reacted with unconditional love.Over the years Olivia had gained enough distance to see that her awful upbringing made her, like so many of the girls she worked with, lean toward self-destruction. Men who grew up like that, in different foster homes and under what could best be described as customized nfl jerseys cheap poor situations, customized nfl jerseys usually reacted with violence. That was how abused men showed rage- by striking out, with physical brutality.Women were different. They used more subtle forms of cruelty or, as in most cases, directed the rage inward- they cannot hurt someone else so they hurt themselves. Kimmy had customized nfl jerseys for men been like that. Olivia- no, Candi- had been like that too.Until Matt.Maybe it was because of the years he spent in jail. Maybe, like she said before, it had to do with their mutual wounds. But Matt was the finest man she had ever known. He truly didnt sweat the small stuff. He lived in the moment. He paid attention to what mattered. He didnt let the trappings get in the way. He ignored the superfluous and saw what was really there. It made her see past it too- at least, in herself.Matt didnt see the ugly in her- still didnt see it!- ergo, it was not there.But as Olivia packed, the cold hard truth was obvious. After all the years and all the pretending, she had not rid herself of that self-destructive bent.